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Category Archives: humor
Summer Lovin’… Had Me a Blast? Happened Too Fast?
The older I get… the more pressure I seem to place on summer. I’ve attempted to examine this dynamic but I’ve only managed to cobble together a few pale theories.
Is this because______?
A). I live in New England. Our winters and springs are long and cold. It seems to take summer forever to arrive. When it does it’s time to get cracking on boating, beach-going, lobster rolls, and all manners of summer fun?
B.) Time feels like it’s passing faster than ever, therefore I need to really make summer “count” because “it’ll be over before we know it”?
C.) I want to futilely recapture some summer romance of days long gone by, while being in complete denial that this is no longer truly possible because I am a full-fledged grown-up? Continue reading
The Death of (Most) Problems
I’m trying to get my kids out the door to get to camp on time. We’re running behind.
I look at the clock. Rats! There is no avoiding that they’re going to be at least ten minutes late.
“Oh the horror!” I mean, who cares? It’s ridiculous, right?
Yet I do care to a certain extent, because I like to be organized and on the ball and all that.
Being late feels sloppy to me and I don’t like sloppy.
Plus, I feel it’s disrespectful to keep people waiting.
Clearly, I bring a lot of baggage to being late. Continue reading
The Tao of Poop
Last winter, right before Christmas, I was trying to soothe my frozen shoulder (another story) with an Epsom salt bath. When the tub drained in our second floor bathroom, the tub in the first floor bathroom filled with water.
“Must be the salts,” I thought.
We called the plumber who performed a thorough diagnostic. He had “bad news.”
Water was backing up into the house from our sewer line connecting us to the street — meaning our sewer line is collapsed. The water has no where to go, so it backs up into the lowest point in the house.
As far as I was concerned, the fact that it was only water backing up into the tub — and not sewage — was really pretty awesome.
Yes, we had a problem. Yes, it was going to be expensive to fix, but I was very grateful for what wasn’t happening … a veritable indoor shit storm at Christmas. Continue reading
The Hope of Ye Olde U2
When I first heard this song, I was fifteen years-old, very impressionable and kinda boy crazy — a classic combination! I loved to crank this song in my room on my Philco double-cassette stereo and try to sing along. Being an Alto, I thought I could vocally really get in there with Bono. In hindsight, I probably couldn’t. The song’s concept of true-romantic-soul-mate, Dublin-style-gray-sky love set to a pulsing drum beat, stirring base, and soaring guitar made me feel incredibly hopeful for the future. This is the song that made me love U2. I still think it’s one of their best.
All of these years later, the song is still potent. I can’t say as much for the production values of the video, but I think Bono’s look still holds up, New Wave mullet and all (that’s right, you heard me). Thankfully, I am no longer boy crazy, except for the one to whom I’m am happily married.
When I play this song for my kids in my car, my son thinks the refrain is “Two birds eating pie” instead of “Two hearts beat as one.” Now when I listen, I laugh and hear his version of the song over the original. Continue reading
Blog Block Party
Truth be told, I’ve had what I call a “blog block” since the start of the new year. Now here it is spring and my block still hasn’t cleared. I write about the subject of hope. Humor is a component … Continue reading
Posted in blogging, hope, humor
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I Want to Save the Adverb So Bad!!
Originally posted on September 8th, 2010
It’s more than a little challenging to be the poor neglected adverb these days. People here are dissing it real quick and it just ain’t right. In fact, it makes me, like, wicked sad. Now, I’m not saying that I always get it perfect myself, but I do think if we don’t start saving the adverb now, it may be real hard to recover later.
“What’s the big deal? Why do we need to save it?” you ask.
First of all, without it, we don’t sound particular smart (don’t be mad, it’s true). Then our poor verbs, who are doing the heavy-lifting actions on our behalf, aren’t proper modified. Now they’re hanging out there without a freakin net! Doesn’t that sound total scary? And our adjectives, which are trying to describe everything so beautiful for us, are reduced to half their meaning. It’s a real big bummer. Continue reading
Posted in humor, language
Tagged adverb, america, americans, cary grant, english, globe, language, reaitly, reality tv stars, responsibility, sarah palin, snookie, speak, stars, ted koppel, the bachelor, tv, wtf
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