Hope, Hair, & The Urban Dictionary

Originally posted on February 5th, 2010

Last week was Doppelganger week on Facebook. It was fun to see what everyone came up with.  My husband put up a picture of Daniel Day-Lewis but called it “Daniel Day-Deluded.”

I really couldn’t decide who my doppel was  because no one has told me that I looked like anyone in a looooong time.  Twenty years ago when I was modeling, I was told I looked like Stephanie Seymour.  This was during her pre-Axl Rose, pre-boob-job era, when she was a mere starlet in the modeling world.  Of course, I was flattered.

Later, I worked in Paris and a hairdresser colored my long brown hair into a flaming red for a French morning TV show.  Then I started to get a pre-Stallone Angie Everhart comparisons.  After modeling I got into acting for a spell.  I cut my long hair to a bob length and had gone a little blond.  Then I was told by that I looked like Jodie Foster.  I was also flattered by this because we all know what a brilliant bad-ass Jodie is.  Finally, I have collected enough anecdotal evidence at this point to make the claim that people go by hair 90% of the time, because I don’t think that anyone has ever mistaken Angie for Jodie or visa versa.  My husband told me that I don’t look like any of these fine ladies, but he couldn’t offer a better suggestion, so in frustration, I decided to skip the whole exercise.

The doppel thing has started to blow over on facebook and now it’s all about looking up your name in urbandictionary.com and putting the definition as your status update.  I looked up “Alix” and the definition wasn’t bad, but I feel too self-conscious to post it because it uses Paris Hilton-style adjectives that I would never use.  I decided to look up other family member’s names and when I put in my daughter’s name, it didn’t come up as a definition du nom.  That’s, I suppose, because her name is Hope.  Here’s what the first urbandictionary definition for “Hope” is and it was submitted by someone who calls themselves Smizzoach.

“Something that idiotic angsty teens don’t believe in. Take off the eyeliner, wash your hair and chin up you whiny bitches. What the hell is so bad about hope? So what if you don’t get what you want? Life isn’t about handouts…”

Smizz’s Funny Example:

“Dear Diary,
My dad says he won’t be getting me an iPod today. I’ve lost all hope, I wish I was dead. Now I’m going all goth poser on his ass. I hate my life! Now I’m going to listen to my crappy Simple Plan CD’s because my dad won’t get me an iPod!

My Hope is only ten.  She’s not angsty, etc. yet, though she does want an iPod.  I tell her she’s not ready, because she’s not. Maybe when she can keep track of her glasses for more than a day, then she can handle a sensitive Apple product.

The #2 definition of Hope on Urbandictionary.com is: “Mankind’s greatest weakness and greatest strength. Hope gave James the power to go on; but it would not let him admit defeat.” This was posted by someone called evovove.

While Smizz’s definition is cracking-wise, evovove’s is a more poetic definition.  It depicts Hope as a classical paradox of humankind.  We hope for what we fear will will never get.

If I were to submit a definition for Hope to urbandictionary.com, it would go something like: “Is Hope a wish?  A promise? An empty promise? A longing? A pining? A dreaming? A desire? An expectation? A sucker’s bet? The center of a chump sandwich? A feeling?  A guarantee? A virtue? No. It is none of these things.  Hope is a vibration akin to unconditional Love.
Smizzflood’s example:

If you have ever loved anyone or anything unconditionally, I mean truly loved them without judgment and with total acceptance, then you have also tasted what hope really  is.”
OK, this isn’t very urban.  Maybe I should submit it to urbanedictionary.com instead. My point is that Hope needs a big upgrade in our language and in our hearts and minds in order for it to really work for us.

Until next time…

Peace out, Smizz!

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