The Intuitive’s Handbook, Part 1

I want to begin by saying that everyone has intuitive abilities.



“What? YOU crazy woman!”

Now hold the phone.  I bet if I said, “everyone has a gut instinct,” then you’d be cool with it – not doubting for a moment that this is a true statement?


Okay – I’ll take that as a “yes.”

And do you know why openly trusting your gut is socially acceptable?

Because at one time or another you “trusted your gut” and it paid off.

Not only did it pay off, it may have saved your life.

“Yeah! There was this time when…”

Or perhaps you didn’t trust it and regretted it, which quickly taught you to pay closer attention next time, right?

“Oh man, and then there was this other time…”

You see, currently, “trusting your gut” is completely fine for tough action-oriented types.

Basically, Dudes.

On the flip side, intuition,”guts'” gentler cousin, is considered “womanly” or “feminine.”

Basically, a chick thing.

The whole dudes vs. chicks debate is part of a much larger conversation that I will not attempt to undertake here.

I will just say that while “guts” are cool in a sort of Jason Statham kind of way…

[Behold! Jason trusting his guts (in more ways than one)]: images

“Intuition” often has the street cred akin to Harry Potter’s daffy Luna Lovegood.


[I love the Luna character, but even the other magic kids thought she was weird, which always struck me, as, well, counter-intuitive.]


I believe this tough guy-airy girl dichotomy exists to a certain degree because we generally understand nature’s fight-or-flight instinct when it takes over to protect us.

However, we don’t give the more refined process of applied intuition much credence in our daily lives.

I realize that this concept presents a challenge for many, because the first step in following intuition means surrendering a certain amount of “control”* and trusting the intangible.

[*”control” is an illusion, a construct of our fearful intellects, that we “think” protects us. Instead it actually can block us energetically. I will elaborate on this concept in a subsequent post]

When we begin to release this bogus sense of control, we can then tap into the endless fundamentally benevolent flow that is designed to assist us at every turn…

If we allow ourselves to listen to it.


P.S. Please stay tuned for my next post, The Intuitive’s Handbook, Part 2.


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10 Responses to The Intuitive’s Handbook, Part 1

  1. Laurie says:

    I am a huge believer in intuition. I actually dream of many people before they die and have had so many experiences that have no explanation. My intuition tells me so. As for Ted Bundy, a lawyer I worked with went to law school with him & actually went on beer runs with him. He used to disappear for days, she said, and come back looking bedraggled. How very awful.

    • Alix says:

      Hi Laurie,

      Thanks for sharing your experiences!

      And another Ted Bundy connection? Crazy.

      Yes, horribly, terribly, monstrously awful!

  2. Jen says:

    And then there was this other time–

    I lived in a duplex and was raising my kids – single Mom after a divorce several years ago.

    The first time I met the man who lived on the other side of the duplex was when he rang the doorbell one evening and when I answered the door he said “You left your lights on in your car, if you give me your keys I can turn them off for you.” So of course I said, “No I’ll take care of it.” And I did, but before he went back through his front door, which was right next to mine, there was this looooong moment when we just looked into each other’s eyes. He went in, I took care of the car, and a couple of years later, (he was divorced) he asked me if I’d like to attend an art festival with him.

    Again, I felt the words coming right out of my mouth though I hadn’t planned to say them – I said “Sure, what time, and where is it?” I had sworn off men and made up my mind I was going to be the cat lady – single forever with way too many cats. So we went to the art festival and started learning about each other, started walking our dogs together, found we had so much lovely common ground (we both love to paint and go to museums and hike and do all sorts of wonderful things).

    At this time we’ve been married for 11 years and they’ve been the very best years of my life. We are so compatible – the relationship is easy, not hard work, full of love and respect and companionship, etc.

    So again, I have to say that intuition, especially when we’re comfortable with it, sometimes comes through loud and clear and when we follow it, WOW.


  3. Jen says:

    About trusting dirtbags – I was attending Florida State University at the time when Theodore Bundy killed several sorority girls at the university At that time I was waitressing in a bar, and it was just before he killed the girls. He came into the bar and was sitting at a table all alone, nursing a short drink. Dressed in a dark turtleneck and casual trousers – not a “college student type.” He stared at me for hours as I worked through my shift, though he wasn’t sitting at one of my tables. At one point during the evening he came over to me and asked what time I got off work and if I’d like to go to breakfast with him.

    Here’s where my intuition kicked in and it was absolutely unmistakeable. I could feel an energy emanating from his body that felt “repulsive.” It was a “push” energy that made me step back and want to get away, though I knew nothing about this man. It felt completely negative. I’ve always been a trusting, honest person, but when he asked me what time I got off work I found myself lying. I told him a time that was much later than I normally got off (2 a.m. was the correct time). The words just came right out of my mouth as if sent by some guiding force.

    Then I went over to some friends of mine who were hanging out and asked them to walk me back to my dorm – and I walked out of the bar before my shift was over, didn’t ask my boss, didn’t tell anyone, just left. Got back to my room and locked the door, closed the blinds, and hung out in the dark listening to music – feeling unsettled – like a rubber band stretched too tight.

    I never went back to pick up my final paycheck because a few days later was when Bundy killed the girls and the campus was shrouded in fear. The stories we heard about the things he did to them were blood-curdling.

    I didn’t “know” until several years later when a book came out documenting Bundy with his photo that this was the man that has asked me to breakfast.

    Do I trust my intuition? You BET. Does it help with dirtbags? You BET.

    I dropped out of college and it wasn’t until 20 years later that I could set foot on a campus again. At that time I had to go through all the paperwork to sign myself out of all my classes – dropped out 3 days before my final exams my Freshman year. As I walked around campus to the places I needed to be I noticed that no matter where you are, you’re more vulnerable than you imagine. You have to keep an awareness about you, stay where there are lots of people, get an escort if you can. I attended self-protection workshops, learned some moves (believe it or not, pick your nose is one of them), some behaviors, and have been pretty careful ever since.

    I send blessings to the families of the girls who were killed. The incident set me on a spiritual quest that has lasted all through my life – and has been very beautiful. I still have questions that can’t be answered, but I also have tools.


    • Alix says:

      Dear Jen,

      Thank you so much for sharing your enlightenining and miraculous stories!!

      Your Ted Bundy story gave me chills (both kinds! fear + awe) because I was thinking about HIM SPECIFICALLY when I replied to Anne’s comment regarding our guts not allowing us to trust ‘dirtbags’ if we’re really listening to them (so often, our minds talk us out of our intuition saying, “He looks and seems nice…” because our gut feelings are seemingly “irrational”).

      Your amazing stories wonderfully affirm this process to the enth degree.

      Additionally, I have wondered for over 20 years (ever since I saw the chilling Mark Harmon TV movie about Ted Bundy in the late 80s) whether or not any of the women he targeted ever intuitively or instinctively realized that he was as bad as he was, despite his benign middle class appearance, and got away? YOU are this woman! Thank you for solving this aged mystery for me.

      I also love your story about meeting your husband!! So magical!!

  4. So true Alix! My intuition rarely fails me!

  5. Anne Benson says:

    I am open to being intuitive and trusting your gut instinct. However, I’m also open to consideration of complex problems and solving them, or addressing them based on clear and open minded thinking plus the lessons learned from experience and from what you know and have learned over your life. A baby’s instinct might be to reach for something that’s hot or sharp, where as a more experienced person has learned the danger. So I’m not sure what you cover when you’re talking about following your instinct. Your instinct might tell you to trust some person who is actually a dirtbag, because you have no experience with dirtbags. Anyway, you catch my drift, I’m sure.

    • Alix says:

      Hi Anne,
      Thanks for your feedback! I hear what you’re saying, but I’m only introducing the difference between gut instinct and intuition here. These two intertwined “6th sense” processes do not necessarily preclude reason, life experience, or common sense. it all needs to be taken into account. Your gut instinct, if you listen to it carefully, would never tell you to trust someone who is untrustworthy (for more info on this topic, please check out Gavin de Becker’s well regarded book, The Gift of Fear). I will further explain how this all works in subsequent posts. Please stay tuned!

Thank you for reading + commenting!